it kinda struck me today. why am i not doing what i promised myself? there is definitely a huge inertia in me to start things going. i still dont feel the urgency because it is still the beginning of the nightmare. i guess i need to experience the same old shit again to shake me up.
yucks! i hate myself for allowing hipcups to motivate myself. i seem to have lost the old karen somewhere along the way. it is time to bring her back and yup, not to give up.
have not been feeling good about myself recently.
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